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Grandmalytics Conversational web analytics

Overwhelmed by Google Analytics? Hotjar broken?

Conversational web analytics that answers your questions.

Grandmalytics dashboard showing visitor numbers, scroll depth and conversion goals
Ask Grandma about your visitors...
Try Grandmalytics free She has already put the kettle on

Track conversions that matter – who pressed Subscribe button, who scrolled to Pricing section...

Custom event tracking

Set up conversion tracking without any code – just by using visual picker

Custom events
Set up tracking of a specific button click – Grandma will keep score.
What do you want to track?
Click
Page view
Scroll depth
Pick an element on your website
How should we name it?
e.g. Signup completed
Track custom event
<button id="subscribe"> Subscribe to newsletter
Button: "Subscribe to newsletter"
Use this element
3 newsletter signups
Custom event
+24% · 12% conversion
Straightforward dashboard

See the numbers you actually need – without filters and marketing gobbledygook

Most scrolled past 75%
How far down people scroll
25%312
50%245
75%189
Most use desktop
What screen size people use
847 visitors
How many different people visited
+12%
32% bounced
People who left after one page
-8%
2.4 visits each
How many times people visit on average
+5%
2m 34s on average
How long people stay on your page
Most come from google
google
62%
direct
28%
Most come from UK
🇬🇧 UK
45%
🇺🇸 USA
32%
Most use Chrome
Chrome
71%
3 newsletter signups
Custom event
+24% · 12% conversion
Conversational UI

Talk to your analytics in English – "How many visitors from LinkedIn subscribed to my newsletter?"

Ask Grandma about your visitors...

Grandma vs. other
analytics platforms

Grandmalytics Google Analytics Mixpanel Adobe Analytics Plausible Fathom Hotjar
Talk to your analytics in EnglishYesNoNoNoNoNoNo
No-code setup of conversion trackingYesNoNoNoNoNoPartial
No-code setup of scroll-depth trackingYesNoNoNoNoNoPartial
Free planYesYesYesNoNoNoYes
Setup time< 2 min30+ min15 min30+ min5 min5 min10 min
Beginner-friendlyYesNoNoNoYesYesPartial
Made in UKYesNoNoNoNoNoNo

See how Grandma compares:

Transparent pricing
without "call for a quote"-faff

(although Grandma is always happy to talk to you)

Free
£0/ month

Take it for a spin – Grandma insists.

  • 1 website
  • 1,000 views / month
  • 5 custom events
  • Real-time analytics
  • Conversion goals tracking
  • Conversational UI
  • Visual editor of events
Get Free plan
Most popular
Pro
£5/ month

For when things start getting busy.

  • 5 websites
  • 50,000 views / month
  • Unlimited custom events
  • Everything in Free
Get Pro plan
Business
£19/ month

The full spread – Grandma's gone all out.

  • Unlimited websites
  • Unlimited views / month
  • Priority support
  • Everything in Pro
Get Business plan

Cancel anytime. No questions asked.

Grandma has answers

What's Grandmalytics?
Grandmalytics is a privacy-friendly web analytics tool that lets you ask questions about your website visitors in plain English. Think of it as a lightweight alternative to Google Analytics – with conversational AI, a visual event editor, and analytics you can actually understand. No jargon, no fuss.
Is my data secure?

Absolutely. Grandma doesn't snoop – we collect zero personally identifiable information from your visitors. All data is stored securely. We comply with GDPR, are ICO registered, and Cyber Essentials certified.

Cyber Essentials Certified GDPR Compliant ICO Registered
How does Grandmalytics work?
Pop a small code snippet onto your webpage and Grandma takes it from there. She'll track page views, clicks, time on page, and bounce rates. You can also use the visual editor to pick specific elements for custom tracking – no coding needed.
What can I track with custom events?
Clicks on buttons, links, forms, images – you name it. Use the visual point-and-click editor to select an element, give it a name, and Grandma will start counting straight away.
Do I need to know how to code?
Not one bit. The visual editor lets you set up custom event tracking with just a few clicks. Grandma kept it simple on purpose.
Will it slow down my webpage?
Not a chance. The script is lighter than a biscuit – under 5KB – and loads in the background, so your page speed and Core Web Vitals stay squeaky clean.
Can I cancel my plan at any time?
Of course. No contracts, no commitments, no guilt trips. Cancel from your settings whenever you like – Grandma won't hold it against you.
Try Grandmalytics free She has already put the kettle on

From Grandma's blog

Ad platform conversion APIs: a practical guide

Sergei Golubev··7 min read

How to send conversion data to LinkedIn CAPI, Meta CAPI, Google Ads, and TikTok Events API from your server.

Privacy-friendly analytics: what it means and why it matters

Sergei Golubev··3 min read

Cookies vs cookieless tracking, what GDPR actually requires, and the real cost of consent banners.

How to set up conversion goals that actually matter

Sergei Golubev··2 min read

How to choose what to track, avoid vanity metrics, and set up goals that tell you whether your site is doing its job.

UTM parameters explained in 5 minutes

Sergei Golubev··5 min read

A clear, no-nonsense guide to UTM parameters: what each one does, a naming convention that scales, and common mistakes.

View all articles